orchids and tea lights. Wednesday, Oct. 15, 2008 2:22 PM

Desperate and ravenous, so weak and powerless over you. It's amazing how much you want control, you want to know the effect you have, you want to feel someone else's heart in your hands. The ability to make someone happy, to squeeze that heart just a bit and see a smile, or a frown, or tears, anything but this blank face.

I miss you every day, can you be right here? It's been far too long, too much to say, can you lend me your ear? I find it frightening how easily I attach, how quickly I will hand someone those strings, how much I want every single thing to be real. Especially because it is in two separate realities.

The sound of sirens will always frighten me. I want nothing to happen to you. I want to stay in this city and for things to be blissfully quiet, just your rambling and my music and the hush of rain. A small space for a lot of money, a house, a home.

Everywhere I go feels like home except for the place I live.

action or consequence